GoGirl, GoGirl.

I drink a lot of Mountain Dew (diet, of course, because I am trying get brain cancer. The coolest kind of cancer). And I mean A LOT. I’m talking like today I’ve already had a can, a 20 oz bottle, I’m working on a 44 oz fountain drink, and I’ve only been awake for like 6 hours. This is my life, what can I say? Anyway, that’s a lot of liquid, and a lot of caffeine. So you can imagine how much I pee in a day. Also a lot. That is why I want a GoGirl, (that's a link so you can see what this fantastic thing is for yourself!). Yes! A GoGirl! Probably the world’s greatest invention for women right after tampons, bras, and concealer (just think of life without those things. Pretty bleak, right?).

I start to think of my life if I had a GoGirl, and I think that I would just start peeing everywhere, on everything. There would be no limits to where I could pee! What a fantastic image to put in your head. Also, I have so many manly tendencies already, so why not add peeing standing up to the list? After all, the slogan of GoGirl is “You won’t be a man, you’ll just pee like one!” Perfect for me! So I’m seriously considering getting one. It’s only $10, and reusable! Anyone willing to buy one for me? 

Speaking of other things I have asked you, my supposed blogging audience, to buy for me... I got some Vibram toe shoes! 

Thank you Sports Den of Salt Lake for having a sale and selling the pair I wanted, in my size, for half price! I could not have reached this dream without you. But don’t worry, I’m sure I will be asking you, my viewers (assuming I have any), for more unnecessary things very soon. There will always be an opportunity for you to buy me things, rest assured.